Last week, in our county Chairman’s meeting, the rising issue of match official abuse was raised. Sanctions for such issues and repeat offences can impact the entire club with senior sides being docked points should clubs repeatedly offend at any level.
What I lay out below is not because I believe we have any such issues at Chesham but it is because I believe we should be mindful of such issues and ensure we are aware of how we can prevent them.
Rugby is a game built on values. We talk about them often, teamwork, respect, discipline and sportsmanship, not because they sound good on a poster, but because they’re what make rugby different. They’re what make it a game we’re proud to play, coach, watch, and pass on to the next generation.
At Chesham Rugby Club, we pride ourselves on being a welcoming community club “Bucks Friendliest Club” is a tag I am proud of, and that reputation doesn’t come from results alone. It comes from how we behave, especially when things don’t go our way. One area where those values are being tested across the country and county is the treatment of match officials.
A growing issue in rugby and beyond
Across grassroots sport, abuse of match officials has become a serious and growing concern. Rugby is not immune. Stories of referees being shouted at, undermined, intimidated, or worse are now far too common. In some cases, officials have stopped refereeing altogether.
That should worry all of us. Because without referees, there are no matches. And without matches, there is no club rugby.
This isn’t just a “someone else” problem. It’s a rugby-wide issue, being tackled nationally and at county level through stronger expectations, clearer sanctions, and renewed campaigns focused on respect. The direction of travel is clear: abuse of match officials will not be tolerated.
Why respect matters, even when you disagree
Let’s be honest: rugby is fast, physical, emotional, and at times chaotic. Decisions will be missed. Calls will go against you. You may strongly disagree.
The referee is not the opponent. They are not “against” your team. They are there to make the game possible, applying laws in real time with one set of eyes, often without assistants, and always under pressure. Unless you are standing in the exact spot of the referee you are not seeing the things they are seeing, so what we think may be missed could simply be unseen from the position of the referee.
Respecting the referee does not mean you have to agree with every decision. It means you accept that their decision is final, you keep your discipline, and you communicate in the right way, at the right time, through the right person.
Our expectations at Chesham
At Chesham, we expect everyone representing the club — players, coaches, touchline supporters, parents, and visitors — to uphold the values we talk about.
That means:
- No touchline abuse — officials can hear it, and it impacts the game.
- Support our young players by modelling the behaviour we want them to learn.
- If you’re frustrated, reset — walk away, refocus, and control the controllables.
It also means we back our referees, including those learning the craft. Everyone starts somewhere. Today’s new referee could be the official keeping your child’s match going in a few years’ time.
It’s about the future of the game
Refereeing is a tough role to take on. Most officials are volunteers giving up their time so others can enjoy the sport. If we want rugby to thrive, at minis, juniors, colts, and senior level, we have to create an environment where referees feel safe, supported, and respected.
If we don’t, we’ll all feel the consequences: postponed fixtures, fewer matches, less rugby, and a worse experience for everyone.
A shared responsibility
This isn’t just on captains or coaches. It’s on all of us. The culture of a club is created by what we accept and what we challenge. Respecting the referee is a simple, visible way of showing what Chesham stands for.
So let’s be clear: abuse of match officials is not part of rugby, and it is not part of Chesham.
We can be competitive and still be respectful. We can be passionate and still be controlled. We can disagree and still behave well.
Because the game is bigger than any one decision — and the values matter more than the scoreboard.
Thank you for playing your part.
Respect the referee. Protect the game.
